


In the Heat of the Broment

by Pseudthisyafucks (collettephinz)



Series: The Long Distance Problem [1]
Category: Holy Trinity (YouTube RPF), Youtube - RPF
Genre: Accidental Kiss, Bladerunner, Confessions, First Dates, I dunno I think it's cute, M/M, being cute, felix isn't an asshole like everyone expects him to be, is that what it would be called?, jack's actually a little dumber than usual, mark's just the poor mom stuck in the middle, obligatory potato dinner, video coda????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/pseuds/Pseudthisyafucks
Summary: what i wish had happened during/after the "Who's More Likely To..." video Felix made with Mark and Jack.(Jack's a fucking kinky bastard)





	

**Author's Note:**

> the hardest part about writing jelix is no longer being able to use “jacked off” when referring to male masturbation
> 
> also i watched this video way too many times and the beginning conversation lines are like direct quotations 
> 
> please go watch the video if you haven't already
> 
> betaed by HalseysChemicalRomance
> 
> Translated into русский by [yellow-lens](http://yellow-lens.tumblr.com)\-- can be found [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5418321).

_“How’s it going bros, this is Ma-Markiplier here, together with…”_

_“Jack.”_

_“And Peeewww-die-piiiie.”_

“Why do I feel so, like, you guys are gonna fuck me or something,” Felix said after the intro, and god, Jack fucking wished. He wished he was going to fuck Felix. He wished he could pin Felix to the floor and tear his clothes away and just plow into him like a madman. This entire visit for Cringemas had been nothing but subtle touches and lingering looks with Felix, and Jack was at the end of his rope. It was easy to ignore his attraction to the stupid Swede when he was an ocean away and just a microphone between. In person, though? Felix’s fucking ripped up jeans showing his knees was attractive on its own. Seeing Felix in person meant Jack had to spent about ten fucking minutes longer than usual in the shower. He was grateful for having a hotel room. Staying at Felix’s place would’ve been too much, though he still felt bad for how disappointed Felix had looked when Jack had turned down his invitation to stay with him. 

“I didn’t feel like that, but…” Mark commented, being a fucking jerk and making eye contact with Jack, like he knew exactly what Jack was thinking. He did know exactly what Jack was thinking. Jack was very, very predictable. Like a dog wanting to hump a leg — you knew exactly what he was thinking about it. Jack crossed his legs. Mark crossed his too, and then Felix did the same, just so he wouldn’t be left out apparently. The faces on the sticks in Jack’s lap were making his hands sweat and the cut out of Mark’s face was smirking knowingly into his fucking soul. He switched the cutout to his own face and tried not to be thrown off by the surreality of making eye contact with himself without a mirror. 

He started wondering what a threesome with him, Mark, and Felix would be like, and then quickly derailed that train of thought. He definitely shouldn’t be imagining Felix practically sobbing with pleasure with two dicks up his ass while sitting next to the asshole. It just wasn’t professional. “Pick which face you want,” he told Felix. 

“This is, like, the chillest video I have ever recorded,” Mark was saying, looking so content in Felix’s bean bag chair. Mark stretched out, made a provocative noise, and then relaxed and sunk deeper into the chair. Felix was laughing at him, commenting something about how he was maybe pleased Mark was pleased? Jack wasn’t paying attention. He was too focused on the heat coming from from the touch of Felix’s hip to his own. His leg, his ribs, his arm, his whole fucking side. 

“Are you comfortable?” Felix asked, actually sounding a little like he cared. When Mark said he was, Felix said Mark’s comfort was all that mattered, and god, fuck, Jack wasn’t going to be able to get through this video. Already his face hurt from smiling. He so rarely got to hang out with Mark and Felix, even more rarely at the same time, and this had easily been one of the greatest weeks of his life. Being with his two best friends, making stupid videos and just enjoying themselves and each other. He couldn’t ask for a better life. 

“These are a little weird, though, so just go with it,” Felix hedged. “Who’s more likely to suck a dick for one million?”

“Dollars or subs?” Mark asked.

Fuck Jack, though, this was going to be so fucking hard. 

Even though Mark voted for himself, Jack admitted he’d suck a dick for a million hot dogs. Felix was basically a God at keeping a straight face. And it had been so hard to not just give in and vote Felix when Felix had asked who looked the best naked — God knew that he should go with the given and vote Mark. Mark was the only one of them who did anything beyond cardio, of course he looked good, but fuck, Felix looked fucking glorious regardless. Especially when he did that dumb shit and sprayed his bare chest with the water bottle. Jack had gotten off to those clips a fair amount of times. Jack definitely watched the most porn, though. Porn of Felix. 

That one site, Rule 34? It had some fucking awful edits of Jack and Felix fucking, and holy shit, were they bad, but Jack had a file hidden deep in his computer where he saved every one of those edits for rainy days. 

The questions were pretty fun. Jack laughed a lot. Felix was definitely the most dramatic, and apparently Jack was the most likely to murder his partner, which was ridiculous. But Mark most definitely would take a naked selfie. Mark had so many almost-naked pictures, it really was just a matter of time. Fucking Felix saw the leather pants picture, fuck, what if he was looking at pictures of Mark in accidentally erotic situations on purpose?

Fuck, though.

The question about kissing another man. 

He’d put up Felix’s picture as a half-assed well wishing, almost like he just wanted to see Felix’s reaction to gauge how badly he would strike it out if he made a move. Then Mark put up Felix’s face too (Felix had put up Jack’s, which probably also meant something). 

“What’re you trying to tell me?” Felix asked.

“Even your own family thought you were gay for a while,” Jack reminded him. Felix hadn’t been able to deny it. Felix was just the kind of person to keep his desires under wrap — he wasn’t outwardly affectionate, basically cut off most contact at hugs, and it was a joke, okay? Jack had voted for Felix has a joke. He hadn’t wanted to talk about the gay kisses they’d all had. 

Fucking Felix not wanting to see the girls make out had just made Jack just a little more sure that Felix could possibly swing the other way. Mark’s story had been a little funnier, and also officially placed him as the most straight person in the fucking room, aside from Brad (Michael was just a little too shy for Jack to be sure). 

Jack laughed at Mark’s story, of course, but Felix’s had left him a little grouchy. Some fucking asshole just got to shove his lips all over Felix’s, and it made his blood boil. Over two fucking girls kissing, too. Jack wouldn’t have needed to be bribed into kissing Felix. But Felix deserved way better than some half-assed messy lip bruising in some shitty hot tub. Who the fuck hangs out in hot tubs, anyways? Jersey Shore assholes, most likely. 

Mark ended up losing, which wasn’t a surprise. Around the point where they’d all agreed Mark would die first, Jack knew Mark would lose. And the punishment, on the surface, had been merely hilarious. Mark apparently really did have sensitive nipples, and his reaction left Jack with split sides, but it stopped being funny when Felix started to play with Mark’s nipple. 

Then Felix had volunteered him to get his nipples vibrated, but at the same fucking time as him, and their faces were so close, and everything had been so fucking sexual. He had genuinely enjoyed the vibrations, which was a new moment of self discovery. He wondered if he could subtly buy things like this online for at home. 

Jack had been all too willing to help Felix vibrate his balls up during the outro. Had willingly gone for the cock. He remembered the way Felix’s cock had brushed his fingertips, the way Felix pressed his hips down into the bean bag chair to get away from the stimulation, and Jack had remembered a fantasy. A sex scenario he’d made up in his mind. 

He got off on getting Felix off. The image of Felix writhing in pleasure, the idea of making him cum again and again, pushing him beyond the limits of what was actually physically possible. And he had this one fantasy of having one of the vibrating wand things he’d seen in pornos, the ones that looked like microphones, and he’d been practically torturing Felix with it, stimulating every inch of his body, listening to him beg. And the fucking vibrating nipple pump in his hand felt a little like what he’d imagine that toy to feel like, so when touching that to Felix’s body, he lost himself in the memory of fantasy. 

Felix turned his head, Jack leaned in at the wrong(right?) time, and pressed their lips together. He felt Felix’s breathing stop, felt his own heart stop too. He heard Mark say something, then pulled away, blinking slowly. He just stared at Felix, trying to get his brain back into gear, knowing he would have to find some way to explain this. “I, uh…”

“We’ll talk later,” Felix said. “We need a thumbnail.”

Jesus, Felix was nothing if not a fucking professional. Put aside fucking everything for what needed to be done. Meanwhile, Jack’s hands were suddenly clammy and he was genuinely terrified. Felix could say just about anything right now. Could end everything Jack held dear in a matter of moments. It was almost funny, how he was sexualizing every little thing Felix did in a second, and then be willing to sexualize himself just to save their relationship. Fucking sucking a million dicks to save his channel, he’d suck ten million and take another fifty million up his ass at once just to have Felix stay with him. Mark was looking at him with sympathy, and Jack kinda wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Scream at himself. Call himself the fucking idiot he was.

“Oh, that looks cool,” Felix commented as they held up their own faces for the thumbnail. Jack pressed his shoulder to Felix’s, valuing these moments as the last time he’d be able to touch Felix. Jack chanced singing a dumb little jingle, hoping to cover up the fact that he was about to have a fucking panic attack.

He chanced a glance in his peripherals towards the other man as Felix officially called the video over and started to chat with Michael. Fucking Michael, who was blushing after seeing Jack kiss Felix and watching Felix like he was expecting him to suddenly blow up. 

Jack was going to give up. He decided it. Felix would yell at him, and then they'd be done. He’d go back to Ireland, make his videos, and never, ever talk to Felix again. How the fuck was he supposed to come back from holding a vibrating nipple pump to Felix’s dick and kissing him at the same time? There was no redeeming the moment. No possible explanation that wouldn’t be entirely sexual. He’d literally tried to vibe Felix right in front of everyone and make out with him. That was as incriminating as it got. He could not be saved. Fuck. 

He hadn’t even thought it was possible to be that stupid. Literally no one makes mistakes like that, no one except for fucking Jack. Jack-fucking-stupid-eye. Everything was ruined. He wanted to die.

“Jack, can I talk to you?”

Jack jumped in place, realizing he hadn’t moved from sitting beside Mark in the bean bag chair. Mark was watching Felix, narrowing his eyes. “Don’t yell at him,” Mark said. “I don’t actually think you’re gonna yell at him, but don’t yell at him.”

“I have footage of what happened, I’m not dumb,” Felix said, not looking away from Jack regardless of who he was talking to. “I just need to talk to Jack. Please? It’s not like I’m gonna fucking hit him or something. I need to talk to him.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack mumbled. 

“That’s not exactly the response I’m looking for,” Felix said. This was nerve wracking. Jack wanted to get it over with now more than anything. He stood and took Felix by the sleeve of his stupid pink sweater and tugged him into the only room that was vacant — the fucking bathroom. Jack crowded himself into the corner, between the wall and the sink, and crossed his arms over his chest. He stared at the floor.

“Good enough, I guess,” Felix said, his voice reverberating off the tile walls. There was a pause. “Jack, look at me.”

“No,” Jack denied petulantly. 

“Really, Jack?” Felix sounded annoyed. “First you pull that fucking stunt, in front of a camera, might I add, and now you won’t even be an adult for this?” Jack still stared at the floor. “Jack. I’m getting mad.”

“You’re already mad,” Jack mumbled. “Ye have every right to be pissed. Shouldn’t have kissed ye.”

“When have I said you shouldn’t have kissed me?”

Jack snapped his head up, his neck twinging painfully. Fucking whiplash. Felix was watching him with an unreadable expression, but his eyes were darker than normal. 

“My place,” Felix said. “Tonight. Come around seven, I’ll have dinner ready.” Felix left the bathroom.

Jack gaped like a fish at the door.

. . .

“Do I look nice?” Jack asked, straightening the front of his shirt. He’d gone back to the hotel in a rush and had struggled to find something in his luggage that was satisfactory. Mark was more than a little frustrated with helping Jack, because this was the fifth shirt, and Jack was pretty sure he was going to change again. 

“Isn’t the whole point of this just to get you out of it?” Mark asked dryly. “From what you said, he’s thinking about sex. And just sex. So why do you care about how you’re dressed if you’re just going to get undressed?”

“Because I have to make him want to undress me before he’s allowed to.” Jack went back to his luggage. “Where’s that plaid one I wear? The black and white one? With the jacket, I can—”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Jack turned to look to Mark to show he was listening. “I’m pretty sure my mom taught me that being with someone for just sex isn’t a good idea.”

“Mark, I have a mum of me own,” Jack criticized. “I don’t need ye’ to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. ‘M a big boy. I can have sex with whoever I want.” He pulled out the black and white plaid shirt he’d been looking for and held it in the air triumphantly. “This makes me hips look fuckin’ awesome, just ye’ wait!”

“Pretty sure you’re still fourteen, at least,” Mark grumbled, arms crossed over his chest. “Your crush has gone on for probably years, I just don’t think it’s a good idea for you to fall into a purely sexual relationship. You could actually date someone normal, you know.”

“What, like date you?” Jack snorted a laugh. “Pretty sure you’re straighter than a honeymoon boner.”

“You wouldn’t be wrong, but I’m definitely not the only human being out there.” Mark pushed his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I’m just saying, there are plenty of other boys and girls out there. You don’t have to be obsessed with Felix. Watch more porn or something. Go out and meet people. Felix isn’t the only possible person in the world for you. There are people out there who you will find attractive and that you’ll also be able to be in a legitimate relationship.”

“Isn’t Felix supposed to be yer friend too?” Jack asked. “You’re really putting the guy down.”

“Felix is a fucking amazing human being and I love the man,” Mark said patiently. “I’m just pretty sure he’s looking to get off while you’re looking for something more. I love him. He can be a little dense when it comes to people. I’m gonna be honest with you and tell you that he probably has literally no fucking idea you want something from him beyond his dick. So, I’m not putting him down, I’m telling you that he doesn’t understand you want him as a relationship possibility in the first place.”

Jack tutted disdainfully as he pulled on his chosen shirt with his black leather jacket. 

“I’m worried that you’ll not only end up getting hurt by the end of tonight, but that he’ll be horrified for hurting you,” Mark continued. “He’ll fucking hate himself if he fucks up on accident and makes you upset. And really, if you don’t tell him you’re basically in love with him before you two do anything tonight? I’ll definitely see that as emotional manipulation on your part. He can’t make decisions about things he doesn’t understand. It just isn’t fair to him. You can’t do that to him.”

“When did you suddenly switch to his side?” Jack asked, a little annoyed.

“God, Jack, I’m not on anyone’s side,” Mark sighed. “Just, don’t fuck this up. You guys are both my best friends and if both of you stop talking to each other cause of however you fuck up tonight, I’ll be the one caught awkwardly between you both, and it’ll be super weird, and I’ll probably just end up throwing up all the time from the stress of it. Do you want to make me throw up, Jack?”

“Maybe, if ye’ll fucking shut up,” Jack grumbled.

“Look, just don’t lead the guy along. And don’t expect something out of him that you can’t receive. Both of you are good people. Both of you could make some really big mistakes tonight.”

Jack looked to Mark. “… Ye’re really that worried for me.”

“I’m worried for both of you,” Mark said. “Humans are pretty stupid. Emotions are dumb, but necessary. And you get weird when you cry.”

Jack sent him a crooked grin. “I’ll do my best not to ruin things. But I want this. Need this. More than anything. Watching him from a screen and wishing for things that’ll never happen is exhausting, Mark. It’s soul crushing. I can’t do it for much longer. If this one night is all I’m ever gonna get, then I’ll take it. I have to know what it’s like. Just once, Mark. Please.”

Mark groaned and pressed the feet of his palms into his eye sockets. “Fuck. Whatever. Go for it. Just go for it. I’m gonna try and find some place that’s open and get plenty of stereotypical emotional fallout food. What’s your favorite kind of ice cream?”

“Bye, Mark!” Jack laughed as he skipped out of the hotel room.

. . .

When Felix opened his door, Jack’s body felt like it was on fire. He met Felix’s gaze with dark eyes, ready to seduce and get down and dirty, but faltered. Felix wasn’t displeased to see him, he was just smiling brightly and almost innocently. “Dude, you made it!” Felix exclaimed, pulling Jack into the flat. “Gimme your coat.” He took Jack’s coat off his shoulders and put it away in the foyer closet. “Okay, so, dinner is almost ready, I didn’t want to finish it early and have you eating cold soup. I also got you some Jack Daniels, but we’ve got juice if you don’t want to drink.”

Felix bustled into the kitchen, eager like a kid. Jack was surprised they weren’t fucking on the couch already. Apparently, when Felix had said he was going to make dinner, he’d meant he was going to make dinner. Huh.

“You’re, not, like, allergic to shit, right?” Felix asked from the kitchen. An amazing smell was wafting from there, and Jack’s brain finally turned away from sex to the next best thing — food. He knew Felix could cook a few Swedish things, and mostly just ate candy all the time, so when he went into the kitchen and saw the pots and pans all in the sink with minimal burns anywhere, he was mildly impressed. Most of Felix’s videos about cooking involved Edgar breaking things. No skill required. 

“I’m not allergic to anything,” Jack replied, looking over the food. This felt almost disappointingly normal. “What’s dinner?”

“Potato and leek soup!” Felix exclaimed, gesturing to the table that was just beyond. There were bowls with the soup and an empty plate next to each one. “The bratwurst is in the oven, I’m giving it the final bake. It’s jalapeño cheddar, it’s really good!”

Jack stared at Felix for a long moment, just so very confused. The way Felix had cornered him and spoken to him in the bathroom and suggested nothing less than a night of raunchy sex and that was it. But Jack was pretty sure this was a fucking date. And when Felix plated everything and even pulled out Jack’s chair for him, he was even more sure. Still, the food was surprisingly amazing. Jack had no idea how Felix had managed to make a better potato and leek soup than any Irishman that had ever made this soup for Jack before. Jack ate way more than he should’ve.

But really, Jack had never been expected to have sex with a full stomach. He was sure it wasn’t sexy.

“I’ve got a movie for us,” Felix said as he cleaned up the table, still smiling eagerly. “I couple, actually, so you get to choose which one you want.”

Jack suddenly understood Felix’s plan. Wine and dine, make the boy mine. This was going to be a Netflix and chill thing with the bonus of an amazing dinner. Jack followed Felix into the lounge and became anxious. No way could he perform sexually after such a hearty meal. He’d probably burp in Felix’s face. This was going to be awful. Maybe he could get away with going starfish and letting Felix do the work. Fuck, that would suck. He wanted to be active during his one and only night with Felix. But oh well. Better than belching in his fucking face.

“Okay, so,” Felix said, scrolling through the streaming website on his tele. “Got Drag Me to Hell, Rogue One, Jurassic World, and BladeRunner. Oh, and Soylent Green. C.H.U.D. Class of Nuke ‘Em High.”

“What’s with all the shitty horror movies,” Jack giggled as he eased himself down onto the couch, trying to be as graceful and attractive as possible. Most of the movies didn’t seem like good fucking movies. Fucking movies usually needed to have long moments of boring conversations and little plot development so as to not take away from the fucking. Nothing worse than sucking a cock and then being startled by a jump scare from the monster of the black lagoon. “BladeRunner,” he told Felix. That could be dull at some points. Plus, he’d had a crush on Harrison Ford when he was younger. Getting fucked by his more-than-crush with his old crush onscreen was literally too good of an opportunity to pass. 

“Good choice,” Felix commented idly. He sat on the couch beside Jack and their hips pressed together, reminiscent of recording the video earlier today. “Fuck, wait, you want a drink? I totally forgot. Want some of that Daniels?”

Jack shook his head. He wanted to remember this night. No room for brain fuzzies from whiskey. Felix was warm against him, and as the movie started, he felt Felix relax. Their whole sides pressed together, ankle to thigh to hip to shoulder. The couch was large, room enough for four, and yet Felix was as close to Jack as he physically could be without being in his lap. As Deckard told Rachel her family was a bunch of false memories on the screen, Felix’s hand crept out and settled across Jack’s thigh a few inches above his knee, resting there, the fingertips just barely dipping in between Jacks’ legs. Jack waited for the hand to move upwards, but it didn’t happen. And eventually, Jack began to focus on the movie instead of anticipate sex. 

The meal from before left him satiated, and Felix was like a heater set to the perfect temperature. The movie was familiar and entertaining, the sofa was pretty fucking comfy, and, again, Felix felt perfect. Jack’s head lolled to the side, resting on Felix’s shoulder. He fell asleep as Deckard and Rachel shared their kiss. 

. . .

He woke up as Deckard and Rachel ran away from the old apartment. He woke violently, too, jumping and sucking in a loud breath through his nose, his head snapping up from where he’d been leaning into Felix’s shoulder. He looked around a little wildly. He was scared to look at the time.

“Have a nice nap?” Felix asked in a low voice, like he didn’t want to disturb Jack. Jack’s cheeks flushed and he worried that he had ruined the night. “You’re pretty fucking cute when you sleep,” Felix commented, and fuck, maybe he hadn’t? “You can take my bed if you want to. Get some real rest in there.”

“‘M awake,” Jack said, sitting up and subtly stretching. “Fuck, ‘m sorry. Didn’t mean to fall asleep on ye’.” He subtly eyed Felix’s shoulder to make sure he hadn’t drooled. “Uh, what time is it?”

Felix shrugged. “Late. Movie’s over.” He craned his neck to smile down at Jack, face illuminated by the glow of the ending credit scroll. “Did you have fun tonight?”

Jack paused. “… Is it over?”

“The movie? I just said it was.”

“No, the… the night. Is the night over?”

Felix’s smile waned a little. “Was it not good?”

Jack stared at him a little. Felix’s smile disappeared even more. “It was that bad? Jesus, I know I haven’t gone on a date in a while, especially not a stay-at-home one, but I didn’t think I was that rusty.”

“This was a date,” Jack repeated slowly.

Felix’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit, wait, did you not know this was a date? Oh my god, but, you kissed me, right? And then I told you to come here. You had to have known this was a date, jesus christ, a-am I fucking everything up?” Felix suddenly stood and began to past. “Fuck, fuck, Jack, I need you to say something, because I am really freaking out.”

“Felix, did you not invite me over here to fuck me?” Jack asked bluntly. He realized that they were both very confused about the purpose of this night. When Jack asked, Felix whirled to face him with a scandalized, offended expression, like he couldn't believe Jack could suggest something like that.

“I can’t believe you’d say something like that!” Felix cried out, throwing his hands into the air. “I’m not that fucking shallow! I know I act like a sex obsessed asshole for the camera, but I’d always thought you knew me better than that!” Felix’s voice cracked at the end. Shit, Jack was worried that he’d actually really hurt Felix’s feelings. “I, I’m not, I don’t objectify people! I don’t objectify you! I don’t need sex to survive! I don’t see you as someone to just…” Felix had to turn away, presumably to hide his emotions. Jack felt really fucking bad.

“Mark warned me about this,” Jack lamented. “He told me I’d hurt you. God, I just didn’t think it’d happen like this.”

“What the fuck does Mark have to do with any of this?” Felix asked, still not looking at Jack. His voice sounded strangled. “I’m not that shallow, Jack. I’m not that fucking shitty of a person. I can’t…I can’t believe you thought I was.”

Jack bit his lip. “… It’s not that I think you’re shitty, Fe, it’s that I think I’m that shitty.” There it was, out in the open. Jack couldn’t imagine Felix wanting him more for anything than sex. Not when Felix could have literally anyone he wanted. Not when Felix merely had to wave a hand and get at least five people willing to fuck. Felix could have anyone. Why in the hell would he ever choose Jack?

“Jack, your self deprecation can be pretty fucking exhausting at times,” Felix told him. “You don’t seriously — you know that you’re worth more than any of the shit you compare yourself to. I’ve been working with you for over a year on this shit, I can’t believe you-” Felix cut himself off again to run his hands over his face. “Why did you kiss me, Jack?”

The words slipped past Jack’s lips more easily than he could’ve imagined. It probably had to do with wanting to alleviate the hurt he could still hear in Felix’s voice. “I’m pretty much in love with ye’,” he said. “Have been a while. Mark knows. He was nervous about me coming over tonight. Worried I’d get hurt or you’d get hurt. And he was right, I guess. I just, I never expect you to want anything from me, Felix, I really didn’t. I thought I’d come through the door, get fucked on the counter or the floor, then sent on me way. But you made dinner and there was a movie and…” Jack trailed off, at a loss for words. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Was it all for nothing?” Felix asked. “Did I waste my time?”

“God, no,” Jack replied, shaking his head. “You didn’t waste anything, no. I, I never expected you’d do this for me. I never even thought you’d like me, you know? That you’d want me. I never thought you’d go through the trouble of making me food and actually, like, wooing me and shit. Never thought you’d want me back. This, this is crazy. The food, the movie, the way you’ve been listening to me and treating me like someone you’re trying to, I dunno, court? I really did think I’d be in, fucked, and out. And I’m so sorry for ever even suggesting I could think lowly of you. You’re one of my best friends, Felix, I’d never think that sort of way about ye’.”

“I’m not an asshole,” Felix said, sounding a little more grumpy than hurt now, which was a relief. “You’re a person. A person I’m pretty interested in, I’m not about to treat you like some sort of whore or whatever you seem to think I saw you as.” 

“A one night stand,” Jack clarified. Felix wrinkled his nose.

“Honestly, I have way too many things I want to do to you to do it all in one night.” 

Jack blushed and felt like Felix had finally gotten over Jack’s fuck up. “Really?” he asked, his voice failing at the end. “I mean, uhm.” He cleared his throat. “What do ye’ want to do to me?” he asked, trying to go for sultry. His voice cracked again, though, and Felix ended up laughing.

“I was thinking I was going to walk you to the door, kiss you goodnight, and then text you until three AM.” Jack was a little disappointed. Felix noticed. “Apparently both you and Mark think I’m some sort of sex obsessed man-whore — I’m gonna make sure you make curfew so Mark doesn’t get the wrong idea.”

“Mark’s not me mum,” Jack huffed. “I can sleep with who I want.” He’d just told Mark this a few hours ago. It was oddly sweet to have to reassure Felix of the same thing, in a redundant way. While it was annoying to repeat himself, it also meant Felix cared. Thinking about that made Jack’s chest feel warm. 

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea,” Felix said. “And honestly? I’ve always been the third date kind of guy.”

Jack’s heart fucking melted when he saw the way Felix was smiling at him. 

“It’s late,” Jack sighed, understanding that pushing to sleep with Felix was probably the worst way to actually ensure they stayed friends, at the very least. “I, uh, I’ll call a cabbie.”

“I could drive you back,” Felix suggested. When Jack looked surprised, he smiled sheepishly. “Just because I know we shouldn’t fucking doesn’t mean that I want you to leave. I fucking love being around you for literally any reason at all. And I definitely don’t want you to leave. Can I drive you home?”

Jack nodded dumbly, Felix grabbed his keys, and that was how they ended up making out in Felix’s car. Felix hadn’t even gotten to start the damn thing, the cold air permeating Jack’s clothes without the heating on. Felix had been moving to put the keys into the ignition when Jack had taken him by the wrist and pulled him in for a bruising kiss. The whole situation had escalated from there, with Jack crawling over the console and trying to get comfortable in Felix’s lap as they kissed. Felix’s hands were everywhere, grabbing a his chest and gripping this hips and thighs. At one point, Felix’s hands had been under Jack’s shirt, but they’d only gone as high as Jack’s ribs before pulling back down and rising to hold and angle Jack’s head so Felix could slide his tongue inside. 

Jack was a mess at this point. He felt lightheaded and knew it was from the lack of oxygen, but blamed it on the way Felix was digging his fingertips into Jack’s skin instead. He hoped there would be bruises. Felix pressed deeper into the kiss, drawing a moan from Jack with ease. He dominated the kiss, devouring Jack and making him tremble. Then there were hands pulled at Jack’s thighs, spreading his knees apart so he could sit down on Felix’s legs, their chests resting together in what had to be the most comfortable position Jack had ever been in with another person. 

They kept kissing, a little slower, trading breath and feeling the vibrations of the other’s quiet moans. Felix really knew how to kiss. He’d do this thing where he rolled his tongue that made Jack’s toes curl. Felix laughed softly as he pulled away from Jack’s lips, only to reattach his mouth to Jack’s neck, lavishing the skin with his tongue and teeth. Jack gasped softly and tilted his head to the side to give Felix better access. He rolled his hips into Felix’s stomach, not even embarrassed as his hardening cock pressed into the softer flesh. 

“Can it be the third date already?” Jack whimpered, arching his back and cradling the back of Felix’s head in his hands to ensure that he wouldn’t pull away. Jack loved the attention he was receiving. He loved when Felix would suck on a patch of skin and let Jack picture the bruise that would be left behind. He loved the scrape of Felix’s teeth and the warmth of his tongue against his jaw. And he loved that it was Felix whose lap he was sitting in, loved that Felix wanted to do this to him. He fucking loved Felix. 

He rolled his hips again, giving himself the friction he needed. Felix’s stomach was firm most of the time, but slouching in the seat made the muscles relax and soften. His body was warm and Jack wrapped his arms around Felix’s shoulders so he could pull Felix in and press his cock between their bodies. 

“You Irish fuck,” Felix growled. He grabbed Jack by the hips and dug his nails into the flesh just above Jack’s waist. “Behave.” Jack kept gyrating his hips despite the sharp pain from Felix’s nails. He let out a needy, low sound and opened his eyes to bat his eyelashes at Felix.

“Ye’ want it to be the third date too,” he challenged. “Don’t fuckin’ lie to me. Ye’ want me spread out across the dash with me legs hooked on yer fuckin’ shoulders. Ye’ wanna fuck me.”

Felix groaned and Jack smirked. “… Maybe even the other way around,” Felix suggested, voice so low that Jack could barely understand. His heart raced at the implications and his cock throbbed in his too tight jeans. 

“Felix, I—”

The harsh rapping of knuckles on the window tore the two men from each other. Felix looked a little guilty, but Jack felt high strung, like he still rub off on Felix’s stomach even with an audience. Felix finally finished turning on the car and rolled down the window. “Uh, hello officer,” Felix greeted, and okay, maybe Jack wouldn’t rub off on Felix in front of a policeman. 

“You lads need to get on out of here before I charge you both for public indecency,” the policeman said, eyeing them both wearily, like he was used to finding people just necking in their cars in the middle of the night. “Get on home, now. Don’t let me hear about two boys doing the hanky panky in public again, or I won’t be so forgiving.”

“Of course, sorry officer,” Felix said, sounding flustered. “Won’t happen again, sorry.”

The policeman nodded and just walked away after sending them one last disapproving look. Felix rolled the window up and Jack broke out into a fit of giggles. “Fuck of,” Felix grumbled, pushing Jack back over the console and into the passenger seat. “Should’ve just driven you home. You fucking horny bastard. Could’ve gotten fucking arrested.” He put the car into drive and pulled out into the street.

As the streetlights lit Felix’s face in a steady rhythm, Jack took the time to just stare at him like a creep. Just look him over and think about how good this all had been. Now that he wasn’t wound up tighter than a jack in the box, he thought back over the night Felix had made for them and enjoyed it in hindsight. The dinner had been so fucking good. BladeRunner was one of Jack’s favorite older movies. He’d fallen asleep on Felix and hadn’t drooled on him. Then they’d been caught by a fucking police officer while necking in a car. It was like a bucket list, classic date. Felix had been so easygoing the whole night, like he hadn’t needed much effort to show Jack a good time. A rather relaxed date, now that Jack thought about it, and yet it had been one of the best dates Jack had gone on in a long time. Still. He wished he’d gotten to at least suck Felix’s dick. Maybe he was the one who should’ve been accused of being sex obsessed, and not Felix. 

Now that Jack knew he had a chance, he felt like he was allowed to stare. To take Felix in. Really look over his features and study them in person, as opposed to pictures on a screen. So Jack just took his time and stared. He took in Felix’s jawline and the softness of his eyes, the way he was keeping his eyes on the road. Jack couldn’t drive, got nervous in cars, sometimes, but he trusted Felix not to kill them, which said a lot. The lights flashed by again and again and Jack was hypnotized. He wanted to watch Felix for forever. He almost felt like he was able to, now. 

“Jack,” Felix called out softly. He probably didn’t want to startle him. “We’re here.”

Jack hadn’t even noticed they’d stopped. He sighed, not wanting to leave.

“C’mere,” Felix said, before reaching out and taking Jack carefully by his jaw. He pulled the smaller man in and kissed him sweetly, the touch of their lips sending a thrill through Jack’s spine. “I want to see you tomorrow,” Felix murmured against his lips. “Can I?”

“Ye’ can see me for the rest of me life, if ye’ want,” Jack breathed. Felix chuckled and pressed their lips together again. When they pulled away a final time, Jack sighed again, then opened the passenger door to slip out of the car.

“Hey, Jack,” Felix said. Jack paused in the street, looking to Felix. “How about we fib a little and say the next date is our third?”

Jack smirked. “Sounds like a plan to me.” He stepped lightly into the hotel and waited until Felix had driven away before shoving his fist into the air in triumph.


End file.
